Ranking All 20 Premier League Teams’ Performances on Matchday Two
In Italy, this time of the season is known as ‘calcio d’Agosto.’ While the literal translation is straightforward—August soccer—there is an important sentiment behind it: remember what month it is.
No trophies are handed out for a league season which has only just begun. Fast starts don’t necessarily correlate to strong finishes for teams that are still being reconfigured in the transfer market. As the former Chelsea boss Maurizio Sarri likes to say: “When I was little, all the old managers used to tell me that soccer played in August was a liar.”
This is easier to say than embody. Try convincing Hull City that their start to life back in the Premier League is the sporting equivalent of fake news.
To get a truer sense of what has come and gone in the last round of August fixtures, here’s a look at how each team’s performance—rather than solely their result—compared.
Ranking Criteria
Performance: This is the crux of the exercise: How well did each team play when considering the balance of a game divorced from the final score. If it was simply a judgement of the scoreboard you may as well go straight to the actual table.
Expectations: Not all results are equal. Teams that upset the odds with their display are rewarded.
Venue: As the behind-closed-doors season of 2020–21 proved, playing in front of your home fans is a huge advantage, so any away results are given a little extra bonus.
20. Brighton (4–3 Loss vs. Chelsea)
Brighton could have beaten Chelsea had they had a little more clinical composure about them. Yet, their collective willingness to be so woefully exposed to the Blues’ simple counterattack approach was criminally incompetent. Were he not already in the process of growing it back, Fabian Hürzeler would have been tearing his hair out.
19. Coventry (1–0 Loss vs. Hull)
Coventry City meekly passed up what, back in preseason, would have been considered their best shot at three points: a home clash with the only team given shorter odds of relegation than themselves this term. In the end, Frank Lampard’s side were easily held at arm’s length before getting caught at the death.
18. Crystal Palace (4–1 Loss vs. Man City)
Pierre Sage admitted that Crystal Palace “lost our hope” at points during a humbling reverse at home to Manchester City on Friday night. After shipping four goals while taking just one shot on target all evening, that sense of ennui is to be expected.
17. Fulham (1–0 Loss vs. Sunderland)
All that Fulham needed to fix in their limp defeat to Sunderland, according to manager Álvaro Arbeloa, was their “motivation,” “mentality,” “energy,” “focus” and “quality.” That’s it.
16. Tottenham (2–0 Loss vs. Newcastle)
To point out that this wasn’t as bad as last weekend’s implosion against Brentford feels like crowning the hairiest bald man. Tottenham didn’t seem as petrified of the ball and actually had some encouraging passages of play in the first half. Yet, after the opening goal went in, they crumbled.
As Roberto De Zerbi seethed when confronted with his club’s staggering spend: “You can’t buy mentality in the transfer market.”
15. Aston Villa (1–0 Loss vs. Arsenal)
Unai Emery’s message for his team after losing their third straight game to start the new season was ominous: “Now, work, work, work.”
In truth, Villa were far more competent and competitive against the Premier League champions than they had been in last weekend’s 4–0 pasting against Brighton. However, the increase in organization was not matched by any penetration: Villa are still awaiting their first shot on target of the top-flight campaign.
14. Everton (1–1 Draw vs. Bournemouth)
The real victory for Everton was won by the away fans and came hours after the final whistle at the Vitality Stadium.
A fortuitous point earned in stoppage time will be forgotten long before the story of how a protest from the Toffees’ traveling fans managed to convince Everton’s owners not to sell their homegrown gem Harrison Armstrong. “Supporters aren’t always wrong,” David Moyes wryly pointed out.
13. Ipswich (5–2 Loss vs. Man Utd)
“At Old Trafford a lot of people leave with no points, but we leave with an understanding of where to get better.”
Gary O’Neil’s summary of the 5–2 defeat may have sounded like a LinkedIn post, but the Ipswich Town boss was justified to take some tangible positives from a game in which his side deservedly took the lead.
12. Liverpool (2–2 Draw vs. Nottingham Forest)
It was all far too familiar. Twice Liverpool fell behind, twice they rallied. On far more occasions than Andoni Iraola would care to count, the wounds of last season were reopened up by a club supposedly derailed by structural transition.
Liverpool’s 2–2 draws with Newcastle and Nottingham Forest were eerily similar and underwhelming. For all the frustration with the ponderous fiddling of the substitution board, Iraola may be better advised to worry about how he can inspire more urgency in his players rather than the fourth official.
11. Leeds (1–1 Draw vs. Brentford)
“Never underestimate Daniel Farke,” was the lesson Keith Andrews took away from a chastening draw at Elland Road. Leeds United were on the back foot for much of the contest but, thanks in no small part to some tweaks from their wily manager, emerged with a share of the spoils.
10. Bournemouth (1–1 Draw vs. Everton)
It’s a new managerial regime on the south coast but the same problems persist. Since the start of last season, Bournemouth have dropped 27 points from winning positions in the Premier League, a yawning haul which only one side can narrowly surpass. Despite once again have enough chances to wrap up the contest, the Cherries were pegged back by Everton at the death.
9. Nottingham Forest (2–2 Draw vs. Liverpool)
Nottingham Forest gave up the lead twice at Anfield but Oliver Glasner still came away from the 2–2 draw with one overriding emotion: Pride.
The steely eyed Austrian had every reason to be proud of what he rightly described as “a very good performance” defined by solidity and fluidity. Liverpool were not only stymied but sliced open before salvaging a late point.
8. Hull (1–0 Win vs. Coventry)
“Mauled.” That was the word that Hull City’s punchy social media account fittingly chose to sum up the Tigers’ smash-and-grab job against Coventry.
7. Sunderland (1–0 Win vs. Fulham)
After an uncharacteristically lackluster defeat to Ipswich last weekend, Granit Xhaka had a stern word with his teammates. “It was not Sunderland; it was not ourselves,” he warned. It was the Black Cats of old in a dominant win at the Stadium of Light against Fulham.
6. Arsenal (1–0 Win vs. Aston Villa)
Anyone expecting Arsenal to have magically transformed into Brazil 1970, strolling their way to another Premier League title with the carefree flair of barefoot samba stars on Copacabana beach were given a blunt reality check at Villa Park.
The Gunners did score a well-worked goal to break the deadlock, but it was a display of measured caution rather than any magical creation. Some habits are hard to shake.
5. Brentford (1–1 Draw vs. Leeds)
Brentford put together one of the most laughably one-sided first halves which will be produced this season. There appeared to be a steep slope tilted toward James Trafford’s goal for much of the match, yet only Kevin Schade could find the back of the net with an artful flick. That profligacy was punished by Dominic Calvert-Lewin after the break but Brentford’s state of mind was instructive.
“It shows where we are at that we are disappointed coming away from Elland Road with a draw,” Brentford’s manager Andrews pointed out.
4. Man Utd (5–2 Win vs. Ipswich)
There were a lot of unwise words from Ruben Amorim during his raging bin-fire of a Manchester United tenure, but his plea for “more Brunos” was a sensible one.
Imagine if the Red Devils had multiple players capable of reaching the sustain level of excellence which Bruno Fernandes so regularly achieves. United only needed one inspired Bruno to overcome a competitive Ipswich at Old Trafford this weekend.
3. Chelsea (4–3 Win vs. Brighton)
This was a lesson in efficiency. Despite boasting just 26% possession and completing a combined 155 passes, Chelsea were well worth their four-goal haul. Xabi Alonso’s free-flowing attacking unit didn’t even really press Brighton, sitting off the Seagulls like a coiled spring waiting to explode in a concussive forward surge. It worked brilliantly. Defending was the issue.
As new goalkeeper Emiliano Martínez admitted: “At the back, we need to bring the goals down.”
2. Man City (4–1 Win vs. Crystal Palace)
Wasn’t this supposed to be difficult? Even Enzo Maresca admitted that stepping in the chasm left by Pep Guardiola’s absence after a decade at the Etihad would be “a challenge.” It didn’t look very challenging at Selhurst Park as Erling Haaland shook off the Samson comparisons to start scoring again while Rayan Cherki bewitched south London.
“We controlled the game on the ball and off the ball and deserved to win,” Maresca bluntly outlined. It was as simple as that.
1. Newcastle (2–0 Win vs. Tottenham)
The biggest compliment Newcastle can be paid at this stage of the season is that they already look like a Matthias Jaissle team. Considering some fans may still be uncertain about how to pronounce their new manager’s name after his hurried replacement of Eddie Howe, that is some feat.
The Magpies took full advantage of Tottenham’s psychological neuroses with two goals in 10 second-half minutes.
“He is a really dynamic manager, so we have to give everything,” Yoane Wissa said of Jaissle. “I think he is the best signing of Newcastle so far.” It would be a fair conclusion.
