'Not even my family know how bad' - Xavi Simons opens up on emotional ACL injury recovery as Tottenham star nears early return

Tottenham Hotspur attacker Xavi Simons has opened up about the immense psychological strain caused by the serious knee injury that has kept him sidelined since April. The Netherlands international admitted to experiencing dark moments away from the spotlight while his teammates fought through a difficult relegation battle at the end of last season.

The 23-year-old sustained an anterior cruciate ligament (ACL) rupture on April 25 during a 1-0 victory against Wolverhampton Wanderers. The devastating blow ruled him out of Tottenham's final four matches of last season, while also costing him a summer World Cup appearance for his country.

The former Barcelona and Paris Saint-Germain prospect was forced to watch Spurs fight for Premier League survival from the sidelines. Under Roberto De Zerbi, the north London outfit eventually navigated their way to safety.

Despite a standard nine-month rehabilitation timeline, Simons has accelerated his recovery. He is on course to begin phase three of his programme later in November, marking a much-anticipated return to group sessions.

Addressing the Oxford Union on October 30, Simons delivered a frank assessment of his mental health struggles. The Dutchman explained the intense frustration of watching his team-mates battle against the drop while he remained helpless.

"I had to watch the remainder of the season from my hospital bed and let me tell you it was not easy," he said. "I felt completely out of control, infuriated because I couldn't contribute and help. I couldn't do a thing. Luckily the boys did their job."

Simons admitted the psychological challenges matched his physical hurdles. "Mental is just as important as physical. I've had bad moments at night, not even my family know how bad. I've cried, I've wanted so bad to contribute to Spurs, to my national team. It's ultimately finding the balance. You can't underestimate the importance of good psychological health. If your brain isn't working, your body isn't working."

To cope with the isolation, he turned to education. "I read books, I enhanced my knowledge on certain things, I wanted more information, I wanted to stimulate my mind. I wanted calmness in my brain. That was as important as going to the gym every day."

Edging closer to a comeback, Simons maintains a relentless approach to his rehabilitation. During a Q&A session at the same event, he outlined the intense physical demands he has placed on his body to ensure a robust return.

"My knee has to feel good. I need to feel strong," the forward explained. "Right now, I'm on track, I'm getting stronger every day. I'm putting in endless hours. I have a great team that has been with me this entire journey. Everyone has a different schedule.

"Everyone's journey is different. For me, I want to come home and only think, 'I can't move my legs anymore,' because I have pushed myself to the limit daily. I want to feel tired. That feeling is when I allow myself to rest. That's how I've approached it throughout."

Simons is poised to re-join first-team training following the current international break. Reaching contact sessions just seven months into his recovery provides a massive boost for De Zerbi's attacking options ahead of a busy winter schedule.

If the Netherlands international navigates these upcoming sessions without any setbacks, a return to competitive action well before the initial late-January timeline looks highly realistic.