Man City crisis goes ‘from bad to worse’ as Premier League clubs reach ‘agreement’ on points deduction

There’s some more Man City nonsense as we tick down the last couple of agonising days before the actual football returns and we can once again all be arguing about VAR as nature intended.

There’s also some housery over Sir Alex Ferguson quotes, and all manner of rock ‘n’ roll revelations from The Sun.

Just a couple more days, everyone. A couple more days and we’ll all have survived the Great Three-Week Interlull Of 2026. One to tell the grandkids about, it really is.

Much more important than that Mediawatch has spent a good 10 minutes staring at a Daily Mirror website headline about Sir Alex Ferguson trying to decide what it is about it that made us feel so queasy.

FERGIE BOMBSHELL: Manchester United icon admits fears he won’t see Rede Devils’ new stadium – ‘Death crosses my mind’

We knew we didn’t like BOMBSHELL in this context. Or ‘admits’. But there was something else gnawing away that took a little while to percolate until the full sh*thousery of it truly settled upon us.

Because when you look at what Sir Ferg has actually said, he is clearly talking in very, very general terms about his own mortality in an entirely reasonable way. Because he is an 84-year-old man.

“Yet, every now and again, death crosses my mind. When United announced their plans for a fabulous new stadium to replace Old Trafford, I found myself wondering whether I would be around to celebrate its opening.”

There is no dramatic revelation here. No admission and much less a f*cking BOMBSHELL. What we have here are the entirely standard and natural thoughts of a man in his 80s when considering events that might take place five or more years into the future.

But the Mirror have taken this discussion of literal life and death and given it the full transfer rumour bullsh*t gloss.

Intentionally or otherwise, the result is a headline that teases the idea that there is a specific reason now why Ferguson might not be around to see the new stadium, beyond the pertinent fact that he is, to reiterate, an 84-year-old man.

And there’s just something deeply unsavoury about giving the football press conference quotes upsell treatment to a discussion of life and death.

The Mirror would do well to remember that football has never actually been more important than that.

Bad to worse Mediawatch has spent a good 10 minutes staring at a Daily Mirror website headline about Sir Alex Ferguson trying to decide what it is about it that made us feel so queasy.

TAKING THE MIK: Mikel Arteta’s new £80m Arsenal deal is more bad news for Man City after he left club in sliding doors moment

We can kind of grudgingly accept how, in the abstract, Arteta being even more off the table for a City return than he was before, could be considered bad news. But it does feel rather more like this is just irrelevant news, especially at this time.

Charlie Wyett, having presumably managed to get over the very idea of an England game happening on a Thursday, starts off strong.

JUST when Manchester City fans thought things could not get any worse, Mikel Arteta has signed a new contract at Arsenal.

Is that worse? Have things got worse? Is a manager who is not the Man City manager signing a new contract at a different club really a significant needle-shifter in any way when you’ve just been found guilty of about £900m worth of cheating? We’re not sure.

And soon enough, nor is the previously bullish Wyett.

The Spanish boss extending his seven-year stay at the Emirates until 2030 was the least surprising event of an extraordinary international break which saw City found GUILTY of breaching Premier League finance rules.

To be fair, Man City have managed to be quite surprised by very unsurprising things over recent weeks.

But the idea of a new Arteta contract at Arsenal being bad news for City is built entirely on the idea that Pep Guardiola once earmarked him as his successor. Even before the GUILTY verdict, we knew Arteta was not going to be Guardiola’s successor. And even before we knew who Guardiola’s successor would be, we knew it wouldn’t be Arteta because it was all going very nicely, thank you, at Premier League champions Arsenal.

As Wyett himself says in a story about how this specific piece of news happening now makes things ‘worse’ for City.

There were theories that Arteta could still return to City to take over from Guardiola.

But after securing the Prem title in North London five months ago — the first time Arsenal had been crowned champions since 2004 — that was never going to happen.

Shall we just agree things have gone from bad to still bad?

Point of order Elite headline housery from the Daily Express website this morning with this effort.

Man City charges LIVE: Agreement reached on points deduction as appeal dealt fresh blow

That sits atop your bog-standard live blog on a story that is obviously absolutely massive but also not currently actually going anywhere, meaning that every fourth entry in the blog is just another rehash of the same Gary Lineker or Amanda Staveley quotes with a very slightly different angle.

We don’t mind that. The game’s the game after all. We don’t even really mind that – as you’ve all already guessed – there is not in fact any kind of actual meaningful agreement reached by anyone who actually matters on any points deduction.

What we’re struggling with is actually what other bit of fluff or tish or possibly even fipsy is actually buried somewhere in this blog to justify even pretending that such an agreement exists.

For a while, we did genuinely wonder if the Express had gone into full p*ss-taking mode and were genuinely claiming that two people giving medical miracle Alan Brazil the same 60-point figure plucked directly from their arse and anus for the delectation of talkSPORT listeners was the ‘agreement reached on points deduction’. We’re relieved to say it’s not that bad.

But still bad. Because the agreement reached is this:

Premier League clubs are in agreement that any points deduction handed down to Manchester City should be across multiple seasons.

That would actually be a significant development in the story. If it were true. Alas, the very next paragraph somewhat skewers it.

That’s according to BBC Sport, who say at least four club officials believe a ‘one-hit’ deduction wouldn’t be enough.

Still, good news that it’s ‘at least’ four because if it was definitely only four it’d really look like they were taking the mick and we know that can’t be the case.

Also, and we’re sure you’re already way ahead of us with the answer here, but how many times do you think that actual BBC Sport piece (from two days ago, by the way) or headline uses the words ‘agree’ or ‘agreed’ or ‘agreement’.

Well done. You’re all correct. Now that’s an agreement, lads.

Rock out The Sun website have decided to have a bit of harmless fun with the fact Cambridge United will be wearing a special one-off Pink Floyd-inspired fourth kit against Blackpool this weekend.

They’ve got one of the features bods to cobble together a round-up of rock stars who also – and this is mad, isn’t it?! – quite like football.

But, of course, this is the internet in big 2026, so there’s only so far harmless fun will take you.

ROCK ‘N’ GOAL: Rock stars who LOVE the beautiful game revealed, from Pete Doherty’s Margate madness to Iron Maiden and Black Sabbath

We’re really not sure The Sun can really claim to be ‘revealing’ anything in this collection of tales about some famous people from a football-mad country who also enjoy the world’s single most popular sport.

Mediawatch is genuinely fascinated by the very idea that there might exist someone out there discovering only today for the very first time that the lads from Kaiser Chiefs are Leeds fans.

One tip we would have for Sun features writer Jon Boon, who seems to be a touch unfamiliar with the sports desk’s headline templates, is next time to try and find out in advance if someone is going to try and stitch you up with a ‘revealed’ headline on your jaunty, fun little feature.

That way you can avoid saying things like:

Everyone knows Pete’s a massive QPR fan, even writing a home-made fanzine when he was a young kid and flogging it outside Loftus Road on a game day.

Or

But, it’s his association with Margate and The Libertines’ Albion Rooms music studio based in the seaside town, that is now more famous.

Or

Everyone knows the band were named after the South African club their legend Lucas Radebe was signed from.

Stop saying ‘Everyone knows’ about ‘famous’ things that are only at this very moment being revealed! This is basic internetting!