Conte confuses with Manchester United message as he waits to be ‘seen for first time’
Antonio Conte is somehow being both ‘subtle’ and explicit in flirting with Man Utd, but the real big story of the international break remains clear.
The media should face 115 charges of being really weird about Mark Chapman and Kelly Cates. No sanction would be too harsh.
Good day, old Chap As the international break trundles towards its long-awaited end, coverage of the biggest football story in years continues entirely unabated.
What’s that about Manchester City? Something, something, sham, something, something cartel? Sounds like deeply unimportant, inconsequential waffle, frankly.
No, let’s chuck over to The Sun website instead for some proper news:
‘Mark Chapman and Kelly Cates’ secret romance leaves Match of the Day colleagues stunned as ‘NO ONE knew it was going on”
That’s more like it. Mad how people were unaware about a ‘secret’ relationship, isn’t it? Feels like they’re missing a shameless media trick in not describing it as behind-closed-doors, mind.
In the KNOW Sad to report, by the way, that there is conflict in the world of random tabloid capitalisation, as evidenced by this MailOnline headline:
”Mischievous’ Chris Sutton pokes fun at Match of the Day’s ‘dating’ co-hosts Mark Chapman and Kelly Cates live on-air – as it’s revealed BBC colleagues ‘didn’t KNOW’ about romance’
Why not just leave Caps Lock on to really get across the world’s incredulity?
‘Cause for the first time in forever Also currently enjoying how The Sun website has found a new favourite phrase:
‘Enzo Maresca seen for first time since Man City guilty verdict with talks with players scheduled for Thursday’
‘Mark Chapman, 52, seen for first time since secret relationship with Match of the Day co-host Kelly Cates, 51, revealed’
‘Kelly Cates stuns in red dress at award ceremony as she’s seen for first time since Mark Chapman relationship revealed’
Enjoyable how ‘seen for first time’ literally just means ‘a photo agency has some pictures we can use to pretend there is an update to this story’.
The mystery as to how old Enzo Maresca is persists, while the wait to hear how certain Manchester City players have been ‘seen for first time since’ The Thing happened begins.
Jesus, Chris ‘Ex-England star pokes fun at Mark Chapman and Kelly Cates live on air after BBC no-show’ – Daily Mirror website.
Chris Sutton, of one England cap comprising 12 (obviously exceptional) substitute minutes.
‘Star’ status: denied.
Neville’s advocate
‘The tell-tale signs Mark Chapman and Kelly Cates were growing closer as more than Match of the Day co-hosts, leaving his ex furious at suspicions of an ‘overlap” – MailOnline.
Another one?! Gary Neville simply must be stopped.
Toni award
Moving mercifully away from the admittedly huge news of two consenting, single, adult colleagues engaging in a relationship, we have some new quotes from Antonio Conte.
And that is lovely. He’s an eminently quotable, noteworthy figure after all. Anything he says is worth reporting on, especially if it involves disparaging Spurs.
Alas, there is no such criticism in an interview which involves the Italian talking about the spending habits of the Premier League, and discussing how “there are many clubs that have somewhat lost sight of their history, I’d like to go to one of these clubs to dust off that history and make it shine once more”.
That, quite inevitably yet impossibly, then becomes both this:
‘Antonio Conte drops huge Man Utd hint as pressure ramps up on Michael Carrick’ – Daily Mirror website.
…and this:
‘Antonio Conte appears to makes subtle pitch for Man Utd job as pressure mounts on Michael Carrick’ – The Sun website.
Can the exact same thing be both a ‘huge hint’ and a ‘subtle pitch’? And that’s before getting into such technicalities as to whether Manchester United can be invoked at all when Conte mentions them precisely zero times.
Mind you…
From a site not a million miles away
‘Antonio Conte teases Man Utd with two major admissions on next manager’s job – ‘I’d like to go’‘.
Ah f***.
More than a feeling
There is a fun attempt from Martin Blackburn in The Sun to ramp up the temperature ahead of Manchester City’s visit to Liverpool at the weekend.
But it soon becomes quite clear that the rivalry is not quite as hostile and vitriolic as one might hope when trying to build a picture of what sort of hell awaits those cheating sods at Anfield:
‘City and Liverpool was called the “biggest rivalry” in English football history by former Red Jamie Carragher in 2022.’
Based entirely on what happened between them on the pitch, yes, and two managers who are no longer involved.
‘The two camps have gone head to head for over a decade and came to blows once – when Raheem Sterling and Joe Gomez had a bust-up in the England canteen.’
If you need to cite the briefest of altercations during an England camp seven years ago as early as the sixth paragraph, it rather underplays the idea this is a feud based on ‘bad feeling’ between the two clubs.
Lip service
‘Amid all the theorising about City’s fate, one issue may not have been considered. What if the EFL declines to accept them?’ – Martin Lipton, The Sun, October 6.
Interesting. Very good point. Not sure anyone else has mentioned that. Feels like a massive oversight. Another set of legal webs from which Manchester City and the Premier League must detangle themselves.
Apropos of nothing, here’s a headline from The Sun website eight days ago:
‘How Man City could be banished into non-league with EFL under no obligation to accept them if they’re expelled’
