Troy Parrott really is the ‘privileged one’ as he downs Mourinho & Real Madrid

In an alternate universe, Troy Parrott would be psyching himself up to face Derby County today. Instead, he’s the vanquisher of Jose Mourinho and Real Madrid.

For a long time this summer, it looked as if Parrott would be swapping AZ Alkmaar for West Ham United.

The Hammers were desperate for the Republic of Ireland striker to fire them back to the Premier League. Although not quite desperate enough to pay AZ’s asking price.

As West Ham stalled, weighing up the pros and cons on their Hinge-esque list of potential matches, Real Betis came and swooped Parrott off his feet.

In the end, the choice came down to Seville or Stratford. Champions League or Championship. A vibrant La Cartuja or the self-loathing London Stadium.

Some choice, one that the striker spent possibly milliseconds mulling over before signing on the dotted line. Across Ireland, football fans logged onto Skyscanner and booked winter flights to Andalucia.

Parrott made his home debut on Friday night against the superstars of Madrid; Kylian Mbappe, Vinicius Junior and Jude Bellingham all squeezed into the starting line-up.

They bossed the opening quarter of the game, all pace and power as befits an elite side in 2026. Betis simply had to ride the punches and stay in contention.

Parrott came on as a 69th-minute substitute, thrown on by Manuel Pellegrini to make something happen. On the sideline, Mourinho prowled and scowled.

The Madrid boss hadn’t fancied Parrott during his spell at Tottenham, giving the young striker the bare minimum of minutes and calling him the ‘privileged one’ when questioned in interviews about his treatment.

The 24-year-old made an immediate impact here, outmuscling Ibrahima Konate and causing the ex-Liverpool defender to grab two giant handfuls of his shirt. Konate was apparently unaware of the availability of Parrott tops in the Betis clubshop.

With the game almost too perfectly poised at 0-0, Thibaut Courtois palmed Nelson Deossa’s header back into the penalty area.

Despite a corner having just been awarded and taken, no Madrid player had clocked the unmarked Parrott stealthing towards the ball. An instinctive foot drilled it back past Courtois and into the net. 1-0.

Over 60,000 Beticos inside the stadium lost their collective nut. This isn’t a city where the locals support Madrid or Barcelona and regard their own team with indifference.

Here, you’re either Sevilla or Betis and this meant everything. Parrott won’t have to buy a Cruzcampo for the foreseeable future.

Mbappe would later miss a penalty as Betis clung on to a famous 1-0 win. Madrid did miss several chances, but their performance was still whitewashed by Mourinho afterwards.

“I think the team played a great match,” he said. “Sometimes – and you don’t know why – you lose and you can’t explain it.

“We were very dominant, with the centre-backs in commanding form, controlling absolutely everything. There was plenty of attacking play and plenty of chances to score.

“If it had ended in a draw, we’d have been frustrated because we did so much more; imagine now that we have lost.”

They lost because Parrott’s instincts were sharper than Mbappe, Vinicius and Bellingham’s combined.

Because the striker Mourinho tossed away at Tottenham has blossomed into a big-game player – just ask Portugal and Hungary.

And because Parrott didn’t ruin his career by tarring himself with feathers and leaping into the West Ham henhouse.

Instead, his next match will be at Lille in the Champions League on Tuesday. Some life.